I've read more than half of
Dionysos: Archetypal Image of Indestructible Life by Kerenyi. Unfortunately, because I got it on
inter-library loan I wasn't able to keep it long enough to finish it.
But I plan to buy a copy as it certainly seems to be one I'd like to
have in my personal library. I had many "aha" moments with this book as
well as a general broadening of knowledge. Things that really grabbed
me included pretty much all the information on Ariadne. He pointed out
evidence that she has an underworld aspect... which is something I've
felt intuitively but don't remember coming across anywhere else. Also,
many interesting things about Erigone, the Aiora, and the Anthesteria...
things that I'm filing away for next year's festivals.
Kerenyi has an approach which seems, dare I say, scholarly but
reckless? But maybe it's less reckless than I think, not being overly
scholarly myself. His knowledge certainly seems extremely broad. But
he would say things like, "From the absence of any depiction of such and
such, we can assume..." (pardon my vagueness since I no longer have the
book with me) or draw conclusions that I was surprised at but at the
same time appreciative of, even if they occasionally seem a stretch, at
least based on the information presented. He doesn't have the same
loving, almost mystical approach as Otto, but the book is invaluable
nonetheless... especially with the generous amount of photographs of
relevant art in the back of the book.
Another thing I'm still contemplating, and will be until I get my
own copy of the book and can finish this section (and probably long
after), is Dionysos Trieterikos, Dionysos of the two-year period. He
describes that Dionysos was in some places worshipped in the context
of a two-year period, where He was absent for 12 months (or in the
underworld), and then present for the next 12 months. This is hard for
me to wrap my head around, on one hand, and on the other... well, it
ALMOST make sense. I'll try to explain my train of thought... It's
probably not surprising, since I come from a Wiccan background, that
I've attempted to think of Dionysos seasonally, especially when it comes
to the possibility of creating other festivals for him, or even putting
his known festivals into a context of a sort of Wheel of the Year. But
that's never quite seemed RIGHT. Is He born on the Lenaia? Earlier in
the winter? Later during the Anthesteria, when the flowers
blossom? All three since He was born two or three times? But the
Anthesteria also has associations with marriage and death. If you're
following me at all, it becomes obvious that Dionysos is too many-formed
to fit neatly into a seasonal year. He's constantly dying and being
reborn in some way. The ivy fruits in the spring and the vine in the
fall. He is a god of both light and dark. So that some people thought
you'd need two years to fit around his complex, dual nature.... well I
could kind of see that.
I'm not sure what that means for me yet, if anything. I'd be
curious if any other modern worshipers of Dionysos ever think of him in
this way... or notice a shift of any kind from one year to the next.
What else? I'm currently reading Dver's book
Dwelling on the Threshold.
I will review it more appropriately when I'm done, but so far, even
though most of it I've read before, I'm very glad I bought it -- I've
been flipping to sections that are very synchronous to things that have
been on my mind lately.
I've been feeling like the next step on my path is to cultivate some
more disciplined trance techniques. I am a mystic at heart... ever
since I started on my path, I've had that part of me that wants to run
away and join a pagan temple and devote myself completely, fully, every
day to the gods, if such a thing existed. But in spite of that
inclination, trance has always been difficult for me. Letting go is
difficult for me. I'm a stubborn beast. I don't mean to be!
I did a tarot reading for myself recently (using the Voyager
Tarot). It was a spontaneous layout. It included my Self, my Guide,
and my Lesson in the present... and my Self, my Guide, my Lesson in the
future. And in between those cards were 3 more cards connecting them,
which I named Keys/Pathways. These keys included: Actor (Man of
Wands), Fear (7 of Cups), and Delusion (10 of Crystals). The present
Self was Equilibrium (2 of Cups) and the future self was Passion (10 of
Cups). What I took from this, among other things, was that the to get
from a place where I'm just sustaining and keeping things in balance to a
place where I feel truly passionate and complete, I need to release the
masks I identify with, the fears that are holding me back, to get to a
place where that's possible. Seeing these cards didn't worry me... it
seemed like a natural progression. I think I can handle this (she says
now before the breakdown!)
It helps to have a husband and soul-mate, who sees me, TRULY sees
me. Knowing this, I feel like I can peel back the layers and masks
without fear of getting lost, because his love and Sight will ground my
true self even if I myself am not entirely sure who that is yet.
Anyhow, I'm glad it's June. It seems like May is always difficult
for me. Is it because it's the fifth month and fives mean conflict?
I found out there's a labyrinth just a mile away from my home... thanks, World-wide Labyrinth Locator!
Also, I just finished a bottle of wine and caught up on about 200 posts from ginandjack's tumblr. I'm happy to report I'm feeling pleasantly less sane than before and ready for sleep...