Last night I dreamt that I was supposed to be leading a Dionysian ritual. Like most dreams where I'm supposed to perform in some way, I felt unprepared. There was a small group of people slowly gathering (people that are strangers to me in real life). The indoor circle space was beautiful and prepped, but I still felt like I wasn't sure what I was going to do or how I was going to make this a special ritual. I was delaying and telling myself I needed last minute supplies (my flying ointment was one of them). And somehow in the midst of that the idea of doing a ritual seemed to fade... And then I was in a garden at night. It was absolutely beautiful, a ritual space of its own, and everything seemed to glow. I looked up to a high stone wall to my right (perhaps 2 or 3 stories high) that was covered in vines. I was staring at this figure of Dionysos in the vines, admiring how his image had been formed from them and perhaps from the shape of the stones? I said to a male stranger next to me, "Do you see him?" And before he even spoke to say he didn't, or to say anything at all, the image of Dionysos faded, as if it was just the matrixing of my own vision that made him so clear to me a moment before. A message only for me, or a trick of sight?
Life has been rather hectic, but I feel that dream kind of sums up where I am spiritually at the moment, even in its ambiguity. Will blog more soon.