Double Acrostic Prayer for Success

I wrote this to include in a Hermes exchange that we did in the Bacchic Underground a little while back, thought I would post it here since today is the Hermaia festival in the Starry Bull tradition.  Hail Hermes!

Hermes, luck-bringer, kindly blesS

Enchant, shift and coalescE

Reality bend my will to forM

Mercurial messenger, open the dooR

Even the odds with twinkling eyE

Sweet son of Maia and Zeus on higH

Khutroi

When I wake up, I dress in black and make some food for the dead…

I cooked up 8 different grains and beans that were in my pantry, and added some raw milk and raw honey.

I meditated for a bit, opened my last bottle of wine, and headed for the cemetery.  While driving there, my thoughts were going in circles, revisiting the night before, the past and the future, what I know and what I don’t know and all the sore spots in between, and I brought myself to tears several times before I even got there.  

I left my crown of creosote that I’d made the day before in the central tree of the cemetery, then made a wide circuit, pouring out wine and water as I went, murmuring soft greetings to the graves I passed.  A small detail struck me more than usual this trip -- the way that people buy joint gravestones or plaques and have their names on there but leave the year of their death blank in the meantime.  How strange this seems to me, these blank spots, just waiting for the person’s number to come up.  Practical, yes. Still, absurd.

The weather from Pithoigia to Khoes got suddenly warm (go figure!) and the weather today was also very nice -- as in, no jacket needed and I was quite comfortable in sandals.  I stumbled upon one rather curious bench that was not dedicated to any particular person, but simply to love.

After pouring out the porridge beneath a hedgerow, I burned and sprinkled tobacco, and burned incense.  I did another EVP session, as my husband and I had done on Khutroi two years ago.  I listened to it straightaway, but didn’t pick up anything.  I really have no idea if only those who haven’t crossed over yet can communicate in such a way. My husband and I would wonder about this, but besides him I’ve never met any pagan paranormal enthusiasts who could debate this topic with me. (I also wonder, can you theoretically capture EVPs of other spirits? Gods?)  If nothing else, the session got me talking out loud and into a receptive state.

I said a couple hymns to Hermes, left some coins at a hedge boundary.  I felt a sudden fondness for Hermes, perhaps because His trickster nature reminds me so much of my husband. (Which would come up later, too.)

I continued my circuit of the cemetery after that, picked up debris and poured out more offerings.  The sunset was very pretty and by that time I had the whole place to myself.  But it hit me as I looked around from the center of the cemetery to the hundred and hundreds of graves spreading around me, most with their own bunches of imitation flowers… No, I didn’t have the place to myself.

On my way home I stopped at my dad’s band rehearsal.  I had declined the invitation initially, because of Anthesteria, but suddenly I knew I needed the company and the experience.  I love that my dad is in a band.  Playing in a band is how he met my mom, back in the day.  Also, that’s where I get my excellent taste in music, in case you were wondering.  I had a really nice time, and felt much inspired to pick up my own musical pursuits again.  (Did I mention they did a Doors’ song too?  Yeah, they rocked.)

Back at home, I sat at my Anthesteria shrine again, and did one more thing… I listened to that EVP session from two years ago.

I had never listened to it before.

We had always meant to.  It just never happened.  And then he died, and I didn’t feel like I could. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I was going to make it up to and through Anthesteria… but if I did, I knew that this would probably be a good time to listen to it.  

And, it was okay.  No spirit voices, unless you count my husband’s coming back to me through the years.  It was nice to hear his voice. Not as painful as I expected, just nice.  He had said this spontaneous prayer to Hermes, and while I was listening to it, it just hit home… how devout and spiritual he was. And I don’t think many people saw that side of him, because of how intensely personal it was to him.  But we were lucky enough to share that with each other.  And listening to him, I thought, surely the gods and his guides would take care of this soul! This soul who loved them and just plain fucking LOVED so much.

I transcribed it, word for word, this part of the that session that turned into an impromptu praise of Hermes:

“Hermes Khthonios, I give praise and honor to you today.

Remember us.

Remember us remembering you, and our praise of you,

And our praise is Love.

I've recognized your work in my life,

I've been the receiver of your casual gifts.

You've changed the way I look at things.

I've always appreciated your luck,

I've always appreciated you gambling on me, and with me.

Anyone with a mind that is of the gambler's mind,

they know that they deal with ill fortune just as much as they do good fortune--

it comes with the territory.

Thank you for all the small things that have reminded me

that luck is a two sided coin

and pain doesn't last forever.

Praise be to Hermes!”
 

Well I got through the session without weeping, but not writing about it without weeping. Oh my beautiful poet.

And how strange to hear his voice say that death will come to all of us soon enough, as he talked to the dead.

Then this girl with the still-beating heart banished the Keres and hung up creosote branches in the doorways.  And now I’m going to go take a cleansing bath.

Just love, little flowers, just love.

Khutroi - Anthesteria Day 3

It rained off and on, mostly while we were sleeping.  When we went to the cemetery everything was wet, and the clouds seemed close, ominous and beautiful.  While we were there, only a couple cars came and went but for the most part we were completely alone, which seemed odd for a Saturday. 

We walked around, looked at placques and grave markers, smiling and noting the different phrases and symbols people choose to memorialize each other.  We talked about families, death, trees, and the past...  The trees, particularly, I was drawn to.  They seemed like the guardians and sentinels of the dead.  There were several that are not as common here, including many lovely olive trees, and it made me realize that these trees had to have been deliberately placed for their associations, meaning and folklore, something which I hadn't considered before.  There were some pines here and there, and some rosemary and rose bushes around a marble tomb.  Many others we didn't recognize but wished we did.  I resolved to learn more about native plants and trees.

We poured out milk and honey offerings, and I left out some coffee cake under a hedgerow.  We read a beautiful modern translation of the Orphic hymn to Hermes.  We both noticed the strangeness of the birds, which only started singing when the sun went down.

Went and visited my family later since there were a couple birthdays to observe, but my mood was subdued and I didn't enjoy myself as much as I usually would.  My sister and brother in law wanted tarot readings, and I obliged, but felt "off". 

I felt a little better when I went home because I was able to take a bath and smudge and asperge the apartment.  I used creosote again -- put some in my bath, used a branch of it to sprinkle the saltwater, and hung sprigs at the doors.  Keres thus banished, I took down the temporary altar.  My usual Dionysos shrine is a bit transformed for having the mask on it though... a good reminder of Anthesteria.


Afterthoughts: 

This is a wonderful and complex festival, and I definitely see myself continuing to celebrate Anthesteria next year and in future years.  I can see how it would be a little different every year.  (And a big thank you to Sannion whose resources, writing and enthusiasm for the festival were all instrumental.)

Although I moved my observance of Anthesteria so that it centered on the full moon rather than the traditional days for practical reasons, this felt right to me... I like the full moon energy being mixed with the Aiora and the hieros gamos.  I may do it that way next time, too, depending on what is possible with my work schedule. 

I think about resolutions I've made in years past to try and observe all the Wiccan sabbats, where I'd fail every time, and I've realized that this is less a personal failing than simply because the sabbats themselves (Yule and Samhain aside) are not personal to me.  Which isn't to say you can't make them personal, but it was always something I had trouble with, especially with the desert seasons being different.  So this has been a good first step in me really creating festivals and seasonal observances that make sense to me.  Another goal for this year is to create a festival honoring the beginning of the monsoon season -- I am excited for this!

And lastly, not so much an afterthought, but an afterfeeling... a sense of amazement and awe for this God, who IS the God Who Comes, who can be so vividly and startling PRESENT.  Hail Dionysos!

A Song for Khutroi

This whole album is brilliant.  And the fact that "Flowers" came up on shuffle on Pithoigia was lovely and appropriate.  But this one, "Wait for Me", is Hermes and Orpheus singing. 

Just throwing this up before we go to the cemetery.  I will doing a bigger write up on Anthesteria in the next couple days...

Anthesterion

Looking ahead, this is going to be a busy month!!  On top of my regular devotional days, there's two 3 day blocks of events.

 

The first... this week over the Noumenia, I'm taking a camping trip with my two dearest and most spiritual friends.  We have no specific rituals planned, but simply being out in nature for a while will be nice.  For certain, I would like to build a shrine to the nymphs and try to commune with them.  Other than that, and ringing in the Noumenia and reaffirming commitments, I just planning on being open to any spontaneous experiences or encounters.  If we have time we may drive more northward to search for amanitas.  

 

Then there's the Anthesteria... I'm working on the actual dates, so I'm pushing my celebration of those three days back to the full moon and the day before and after.  I haven't really attempted something like this before.  The idea is both exciting and intimidating. 

 

I'm still planning what I'd like to do for Anthesteria - but after reading Otto's Dionysos, I'm suddenly rather taken with the idea of both making a mask for the god and integrating that into my rituals. 

 

The Aiora (swinging festival) really intrigues me.  Even as an adult I would readily admit that I enjoy going swinging.  There was a night perhaps a year and a half ago, where a solo walk ended up with me spontaneously swinging in an empty park.  My life was on the threshold of a lot of change at the time, and the act of it felt very significant, though I didn't know why.  I just remember swinging, looking at the moon, and both crying and feeling inexplicably joyful at the same time.  That people might have once approached the act in a spiritual sense never even occurred to me before, but makes sense.  I'm looking forward to this.

 

So, so far, it looks like the first day will be creative (mask making) and celebratory (flowers and feasting).  Second day, the more intense work including the Aiora and some form of the sacred rite in the evening (trance and mind-altering substances likely).  Third day, offerings to the dead and hymns to Hermes, perhaps a trip to the cemetery.  Smudging and cleansing at the end of the day seems appropriate.

 

I'm working on Valentine's Day, but maybe I'll still try to fit in something extra with Aphrodite.  I know a lot of people who dislike the holiday.  Myself, I've loved ALL holidays since I was a kid.  And one that's dedicated to love?  How can that be bad?  In my opinion, if you let yourself get bogged down by the commercialism then you have no one but yourself to blame.  It's not the responsibility of commercial industries to keep the sacred in our holy days, it's our own.  (End rant.)  I'm sure my parents were an influence here too.  I never saw Valentine's Day as solely for romantic love, partly because they always got my siblings and I our own individual cards (and candy, naturally) expressing their love for each of us as individuals.   

 

There's other projects and miscellany and goals, but those are the big ones!